As a kid and those growing up years, I was extremely fascinated by the whole idea of living an independent life. No female in my family had ever lived one (Indian, Hindu family, what more to say) and hence forth the fascination.
What did that really mean at that time?
Getting a job, earning my own money, living the fast-busy city life, having a lavish lifestyle, travelling various countries etc… etc… etc…
Did it really turn out to be it like the picture created in my mind?
Well… not entirely!
Nonetheless, when I see myself now- from where I started and where I stand there’s a vast difference. This journey that I have lived and the one that I am living wasn’t an easy one. And that’s the whole beauty of it. Living the life of my own choices, be it good or bad. At least now I have stories to narrate at my old age.
‘Bad decisions anyway make up for great stories.’
Coming from an Indian background, not everyone has the liberty and the ability to live an independent life. All our lives we’ve been protected by someone, at first it’s our parents and later on our husbands. Considering the times that we are living in, it is extremely important to learn to be independent in order to survive. Learning to support yourself in all matters is fundamental to achieve anything that we dream of.
The Indian society, in generic, is such that we are hardwired on depending on everyone else apart from our own self. On the contrary, it should be the other way round. You should be the only person you fall back upon. It’s acutely important to be able to handle things on your own and make self-decisions. Apart from that, it’s highly empowering to know that you are the master of all your choices and your life. It is much more beneficial to listen to your own voices rather than the castigate assessments of others.
Often when I discuss with my friends or family that I want to go on a solo trip or that I go to restaurants and movies on my own; I get this absurd reaction as if I’ve committed some crime. “How can you do all these things alone? You should get a company?”
But why?, is what I think. I absolutely love my own company; on hearing this they judge me to be some loner or a weird creature. Sometimes I feel, I wish I could explain it to them how it felt and what it meant to be in one’s own company. It’s liberating. But again, with certain people no matter how much you scream they will always turn deaf.
The other important learning for me was that we humans put a lot of our happiness in other people’s hand; we rely too much on others. That’s where we make the biggest mistake of our life. When things get difficult it’s only you you have to fall back upon. Do we really want to be dependent on someone else for our life’s; I’m sure not. The only thing that we achieve out of it is misery. We begin to put so many restrictions on ourselves which further leads to suffocation and unhappiness.
There are various reason why we are dependent on others; fear being on leading edge. The only thought of making a decision for our own-selves instils fear within us leading us to the same vicious cycle of dependence again. Yes, moving out of our comfort zone and being liable for your life requires effort and a lot of effort; but that’s where the challenge lies. That’s exactly how one grows and shapes himself as a human being.
Living an independent life can be the best the investment a person makes in his/her life. I am glad that I’ve made one. I’ve learnt to make decisions on my own, no matter what they might be. All of them mostly turn out to be big mistakes, but then again that’s what helps me to make a better one. It’s about time that we all let go of the fear and be responsible for our lives at each step going ahead.
“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing. The worst thing you can do is nothing.”