All my years of growing up I’ve lived with a constant fear within me. The fear of writing, fear of talking, fear of being judged, fear of failure, fear of change, fear of getting uncomfortable, fear of commitment, fear of living basically. During my moments of doubt I would always give myself a positive self-talk and as the time would come to take some action, slowly and slimily fear would invade my body, leaving me fearful all over again. It was a vicious never-ending cycle; on a constant repeat mode. I cannot even begin to mention the chapters that weren’t written and the journeys that weren’t travelled; due to my fears!
What did I gain out if it?
Actually, no, I did gain a few things out of it —
Lack of confidence, I was immensely scared, anxiety, self-loathing, vulnerability, despair, hopelessness, insecurity, negativity, self-pity etc. etc.
Phewwww… That’s a long never-ending list!
WHAT IS FEAR, AFTERALL?
The Dictionary defines it as- an unpleasant emotion caused by the threat of danger, pain, or harm.
According to Psychologists– Fear is a feeling induced by perceived danger or threat that occurs in certain types of organisms, which causes a change in metabolic and organ functions and ultimately a change in behaviour, such as fleeing, hiding, or freezing from perceived traumatic events. (Too Complicated)
However, I define fear as an emotion (most definitely) that generates because we refuse to live in the present moment. We are forever thinking about what is it that’s going to happen next. Our fears are always about something that doesn’t even exist and if it is non-existent it is imaginary, right? And if the cause of our fear is something that is imaginary and we choose to live with it then it’s mere INSANITY.
What fear really does is, it builds sky-high boundaries around us. It contemplates us to think that we are safe and protected. We fail to realise that we are being protected against the beauty called LIFE and there my friend lies the problem.
REALITY TO FEAR
In our lives, we all decide whether we want to experience life or avoid life. In case, you choose the former the most important thing that is required is INTENSITY and without it, it’s a sad, inadequate life. The moment we use fear to protect ourselves our abilities to experience a truly meaningful life goes with it. The only thing that remains is whatever the mind thinks and decides for us; when this happens we forbid ourselves from experiencing something fantastic and ecstatic. We cannot sing or dance or laugh or cry. We can only sit there and mourn about life and all the risks of life.
Fear is not a product of our lives but of the mighty MIND. We fear things because our mind forces us to think — “WHAT IF?” What if I hurt myself? What if I don’t get the job? What if he/she says no? What if I fail? So on and so forth… There’s actually another way to look at it — What if I get the job? What if he/she says yes? What if I pass? The possibilities are endless, we will never know unless we try. COURAGE is all that’s required to step onto the happier side of life.
We all can plan for the tomorrow but cannot live in it; the whole cause of the fear is that we choose to live in the future rather than the present. We need to get ourselves back to reality because that’s where the MAGIC happens, not in our minds. Once that happens there is no room for the imaginary thoughts and when that’s gone, where’s the fear then? The second we stop imagining the imaginary that is when we respond to reality.
As Jack Canfield said, “Everything you want is on the other side of fear.” Each word in that sentence does full justice to itself. I’ve always been super critical and fearful about my writing. I always knew I loved it but always drew a step back away from it. After a point of time, I gave up on FEAR. It had become utterly boring and monotonous. I decided on breaking the walls and begin writing as well as sharing it with the world. I finally fought the demon.
Fear, as it is not leading me anywhere, might as well try courage. The worse that could happen is I could die, but at least I would have lived a fulfilled life.
To my surprise, no, I did not definitely die, rather there’s a lot I gained out it. If not anything my life wasn’t boring and monotonous anymore. As for my writing people really appreciated it and enjoyed what I had to bring forth. That’s when I pledged to try the COURAGE thing more often and truly experience life.
Believe me, there’s nothing more liberating than fighting your fears and opening the doors to a whole new world of opportunities and experiences in life. The next time you feel scared, ask yourself-
What is the worse that could happen?
What can I achieve out of it?
The next fear to conquer on my list is Public Speaking or climb a mountain cliff or jump off it, who knows!
“Action cures fear, inaction creates terror.” —Douglas Horton
IT’S TIME FOR SOME ACTION, LET THE ADVENTURE BEGIN MY FRIENDS…
P.S- If you are someone like me holding yourself back or someone not like me please do help me in spreading the message by sharing it as well as commenting below by sharing your fabulous experiences of over-coming your fears.